It's possible that he's been nursing what were in the beginning latent gay tendencies, but it's equally likely that he's simply seen imagery that provoked his libido and decided to follow that blue brick road to its logical conclusion. If, after counselling (which I would insist on), he comes to the conclusion that his sexual proclivities lie elsewhere, you'll have to rethink your marriage. He's betrayed you badly by allowing his impulses rather than more cerebral considerations to dictate his behaviour – but all is not lost. I'm loath to repeat my diatribe of a couple of weeks ago against the insidious impact of pornography but I'm afraid your husband's case provides a perfect "cause célèbre".
![men who view gay porn. men who view gay porn.](https://i2-prod.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article9437024.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/A-man-comforting-his-partner.jpg)
Mariella replies The bells may toll but his promises also chime sweetly. But I have alarm bells ringing and am at a loss as to what to do, with no one to turn to. He is seeking counselling, has gone cold turkey on porn and will do anything to win me back. He swears he isn't bisexual or gay, and says he's watched so much porn his appetite has increased for more taboo and risqué stuff and that he just compartmentalised everything and didn't think about the effect on me and the children.
![men who view gay porn. men who view gay porn.](https://media.gq-magazine.co.uk/photos/5d13a0680c56cfc7731d3ad4/master/w_1600%2Cc_limit/James-Franco-GQ-31May16_rex_b.jpg)
I had an inkling he watched porn, but had no clue as to the frequency (daily he was even bunking off work and watching it in public loos). When I confronted him he confessed he visited a gay sauna on four occasions while I was pregnant and started emailing a man he met there. He said he has been addicted to pornography for over a decade (long before we met) and this had been making him have urges he had difficultly controlling. Six weeks ago I discovered that my husband has been chatting to men online via Gaydar and other similar sites, and emailing one man in particular.
![men who view gay porn. men who view gay porn.](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2014/03/23/magazine/23bisex1/23bisex1-articleLarge-v3.jpg)
The dilemma I am a 38-year-old woman, married for three years, with three children under the age of four.